[Post-trial, Shuichi is just...feeling a lot, honestly. Too much to sum up neatly. The loss of any of their classmates is a heavy blow each time, one that eats at him long afterwards with guilt and regrets. Three at once was almost overwhelming, even if they weren't necessarily people he was very close with. Angie had been trying to help keep everyone safe in her own way, even if he disagreed with her methods. Tenko had died right in front of him and he'd failed to notice anything that could have saved her. He'd talked a fair amount with Korekiyo and he should have realized something was off, should have paid more attention and asked more about that sister. The guilt there is tempered with a sense of betrayal, the knowledge that someone he'd trusted had done something so awful without remorse or good reason. He couldn't forgive Korekiyo like he could Kaede or Kirumi.
And murders aside, the group remaining is such a mess he doesn't even know what to do. He couldn't say anything to console Himiko, or help carry her back like Gonta can. He has no words to keep up morale like Kaito probably might have -- almost no words left at all, so drained of them by his once-again starring role in the trial. He's barely keeping himself together, honestly, and it's only the reluctance to burden the others with his own emotional breakdown that's propping him up right now.
And of course, Ouma doesn't stay quiet long enough to let Shuichi forget about that whole mess either. Their whole...whatever it is, impossible for him to ignore yet apparently not giving Ouma any trouble at all. What progress Shuichi felt like he'd made in understanding seemed to slip back a few steps when he woke up after their last encounter to find Ouma missing.
He should have done something earlier, when they found Ouma covered in blood before the trial. The shock and horror certainly hadn't helped on top of the clusterfuck of other awful emotions he'd been trying to work through, and at least Ouma had revealed the joke before he'd done anything completely humiliating. But that had been real blood and a real injury, and there had been a real wobble in Ouma's steps as he wandered off. Shuichi should have stopped him, should have made sure he was alright or that someone else looked after him. But everything was too overwhelming, and the pressure of the investigation and its time limit was too much, and Maki's complete lack of concern had made speaking up too intimidating, and Ouma had brushed them off himself, hadn't he?
(That last one was definitely a poor excuse. If there's anything Shuichi is sure of, it's that Ouma would never be so straightforward as to ask for help if he was hurt.)
But now Ouma's just wandering off alone again. His blunt and careless manner gets a variety of reactions from the others -- a lot of exasperation, a glare from Maki, a sincere goodnight from Gonta -- but Shuichi just feels the guilt he'd been tramping down the whole trial come rushing back in like a wave.]
H-hold on...
[He manages to make the words happen despite the doubtful looks from the others. And with an apologetic glance shot their way, he follows after Ouma. There's probably no point in trying to make him stay with the group, not when it would almost certainly guaranteed he'd just deflect any concern in front of them.]
no subject
And murders aside, the group remaining is such a mess he doesn't even know what to do. He couldn't say anything to console Himiko, or help carry her back like Gonta can. He has no words to keep up morale like Kaito probably might have -- almost no words left at all, so drained of them by his once-again starring role in the trial. He's barely keeping himself together, honestly, and it's only the reluctance to burden the others with his own emotional breakdown that's propping him up right now.
And of course, Ouma doesn't stay quiet long enough to let Shuichi forget about that whole mess either. Their whole...whatever it is, impossible for him to ignore yet apparently not giving Ouma any trouble at all. What progress Shuichi felt like he'd made in understanding seemed to slip back a few steps when he woke up after their last encounter to find Ouma missing.
He should have done something earlier, when they found Ouma covered in blood before the trial. The shock and horror certainly hadn't helped on top of the clusterfuck of other awful emotions he'd been trying to work through, and at least Ouma had revealed the joke before he'd done anything completely humiliating. But that had been real blood and a real injury, and there had been a real wobble in Ouma's steps as he wandered off. Shuichi should have stopped him, should have made sure he was alright or that someone else looked after him. But everything was too overwhelming, and the pressure of the investigation and its time limit was too much, and Maki's complete lack of concern had made speaking up too intimidating, and Ouma had brushed them off himself, hadn't he?
(That last one was definitely a poor excuse. If there's anything Shuichi is sure of, it's that Ouma would never be so straightforward as to ask for help if he was hurt.)
But now Ouma's just wandering off alone again. His blunt and careless manner gets a variety of reactions from the others -- a lot of exasperation, a glare from Maki, a sincere goodnight from Gonta -- but Shuichi just feels the guilt he'd been tramping down the whole trial come rushing back in like a wave.]
H-hold on...
[He manages to make the words happen despite the doubtful looks from the others. And with an apologetic glance shot their way, he follows after Ouma. There's probably no point in trying to make him stay with the group, not when it would almost certainly guaranteed he'd just deflect any concern in front of them.]