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FIFTEEN TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE ICONS............
duplicity memories au shit
[ It wasn't supposed to be like this.
More memory shenanigans? More fucking around? He's not quite sure what to make of it yet, but it's similar to his previous experiences. Ending up somewhere he's not supposed to be, unable to remember how he came about the location, and definitely not able to piece together the memories that brought him here. It's enough to make him want to implode, honestly. The killing game... Duplicity... and now... this? A happy-go-lucky "Love Across the Universe" situation? It's too similar to the initial killing game, and yet entirely different. Naturally Ouma doesn't trust it, especially since he's somehow managed to retain his memories of all his prior experiences. Can't whoever's doing this crap keep any consistency? He's reminded of when he woke up in the Down in Duplicity, and of how the others that he'd met therein had always been a tossup in discovering what they actually recalled or experienced.
It's terrifying, really. He's not sure he can even trust his own memories, even if he wants to believe they're reliable. But everything is messed up.
Again. And again.
At least in this scenario, he isn't being forced to partake in any activities like killing or sex. Dating and bonds or whatever is a lot more tolerable, and it's almost too nice compared to his prior experiences. It sets him on edge. All of his classmates are here this time, but none of them seem to recall anything prior. They don't know about the killing game, and the few of them that had shown up in Duplicity didn't seem to recall anything about that, either.
On the surface, anyway. He hasn't interacted much with Shuichi quite yet, even though he'd been the closest with him during his time in Duplicity. He almost doesn't want to approach him, because they'd finally, finally contracted, and then--
... But is it all in his own head? Was any of that even real?
The paranoia regarding his own memories and feelings keeps Ouma from actually approaching Shuichi. Hell, he might even be avoiding him in this ridiculously neutral environment. But it doesn't matter, because Shuichi probably won't notice, right? He surely doesn't remember anything either, just like the rest of them. Otherwise he would've said something by now, right?
It's getting cumbersome to keep up with what's what and who he can even trust at this point. Although the obvious answer is that he can't trust anyone -- that's how it's always been, hasn't it? Everything that had happened surely was just wishful thinking (or dreaming?) on his part.
He's so tired of these games.
So he sits outside the back entrance near the cafeteria, lost in his own head on the bench while everyone else is off having a carefree time, exchanging date tickets and whatnot, unaware of the plethora of realities that are currently cracking Ouma's head relentlessly. ]
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This doesn't really look "innocent".
[Oddly enough, though? This is kind of soothing on his overworked heart and brain. This is shit they've done before and he can fall back on that familiarity. Without even thinking, his hands fall to Ouma's waist, half support and half idle touch.
Okay. See? He can do this. He is totally capable of navigating this arrangement with a cool head and without looking like some kind of desperate leech.]
So, then...should we...practice...?
[Failed step one.]
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Yep, yep! I'm already perfect at this, but I don't mind giving my beloved Saihara-chan a lesson or two!
[ Ouma nods a few times as he speaks, his own hands moving up toward the sides of Shuichi's head while his fingers weave through the other's hair slightly.
... And then he clears his throat, upping the ante (and the volume) on his already dramatic way of speaking, here. ]
Ahhh, I'm so glad my cute detective boyfriend came to visit me in my very own room today...! What kind of hijinks will we get into on today's date?! My heart is already beating too fast from excitement!!
[ VERY BELIEVABLE. ]
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That was terrible.
[His hand at Ouma's waist gives a little squeeze with his fingers as if to prod Ouma into taking this seriously. Fuck you, he knows you can do better than this.]
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You're so meaaaan!!
[ But then he's scoffing, straightening up again. ]
Sheesh, I didn't know you were such a critic... But that's what I like about you! You're always surprising me!
[ Now he leans in a bit closer, letting his chin rest on one of Shuichi's shoulders with a content sigh before he ultimately begins muttering in a more serious tone. ]
If we can get out of this one, I don't want you ever leaving my side again. 'Cause I think I'm proooobably in love with you, Saihara-chan...
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Shuichi freezes, Ouma's voice low and close to his ear and without the usual dramatics and silliness. It's painfully real-sounding, and Shuichi's hands clench a little at Ouma's waist despite himself. Jesus christ.
He swallows down the lump in his throat, grateful Ouma isn't looking him in the face right now. God only knows how red he must be.]
...That one was better.
[ HAHAHA YEAH GOOD ACTING OUMA ]
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-- He lifts his chin off of Shuichi, sitting up slightly again so he can perceive the other. Although he's going to wink and stick out his tongue slightly, returning to the childish antics he loves to put on so much. ]
See? I told you I'm good at this.
[ Internally, he is screaming over this and the fact that Shuichi's already explaining everything away -- but he's always been like this when it comes to this kind of stuff. If Ouma were making a statement about murder, he'd be all over triple-checking tha tone...
Either way, if Shuichi isn't going to acknowledge or question his "lie", it's best that he moves the focus from that as soon as possible. Because Ouma doesn't want to talk about that, either. But he did like that reaction...the non-verbal one, anyway. ]
Your turn!
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Ouma pulls back to look at him and Shuichi immediately averts his eyes, retracting one of his hands to cover the lower half of his face.]
I, uh... I don't think anyone really expects me to be that...overt, anyway.
[Everyone knows he is A Shy Boy. It'd be weirder if he was all about the PDA suddenly, right? Right??]
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[ Ouma notices how Shuichi isn't looking at him right now, and how he's withdrawing in general. Is it still a reaction to that or just the expectation of Shuichi being able to play sappy?
Regardless, Ouma's going to bring his own face closer to Shuichi's, one of his hands moving to hold at the wrist of the hand Shuichi is using to cover his face with, like he might try pulling it away at any second. ]
But hey, how are you planning on practicing, then?
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[Not everyone needs to shove their fake relationships in other people's faces all the time! Hell, it's only because they're in private that he's able to keep his shit together to this extent with Ouma sitting on his lap, and it took several months of experience to get comfortable with this.
Ouma's thin fingers tug gently at his wrist and Shuichi takes an extra second to steady himself before he lets Ouma pull it away. Ok, he can do this. He draws a breath and gently breaks Ouma's grip on him to instead catch Ouma's hand in his. He doesn't manage eye contact, but his gaze is at least aimed somewhere around Ouma's shoulder so it's an improvement.]
Do you want to take a walk around the school? We could...you know, explore?
[He is TRYING.]
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Huuuuh?? Are you saying I'm not subtle...?! I'm so offended!
[ Sure, whatever. Ouma's still smiling though for someone that's offended. His own hand tightens slightly around Shuichi's hand that's holding his while his hand on the other's shoulder pushes against Shuichi slightly, leaning into the other like he's testing his balance here. ]
We can do that tomorrow. Don't you think we need a good excuse for you being in my room for so long first?
[ He's partially teasing. He does enjoy flustering Shuichi and the other seems to be trying to hold it together as is. It's always fun to test that limit... ]
Besides, I want a kiss! I totally deserve one for you pretending not to know me until now!
[ Nevermind that Ouma did exactly the same??? ]
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[Can he even practice asking you out on a fake date without getting lip about it??? Come on!!!
At least that gets him looking Ouma in the face, if only so he can give him that bewildered/frustrated/flustered look. Don't fuck with him right now, please. He seems conflicted for a moment, torn between arguing and pointing out the unfairness and just giving in. The mess of it at least keeps him from getting too wrapped up in his own head.
Eventually, after a few seconds of sputtering, he brings his other hand up to grab the back of Ouma's head and shove his head down not very gently. He takes the opportunity to press a quick kiss to the top of Ouma's head and huffs an exasperated breath.]
Happy? Do you want to practice or do you want to get our stories straight?
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[ He's about to go on a fake offended spiel here before he suddenly feels Shuichi's hand on the back of his head, which causes him to shutup even if it only ends up being a peck on his head.
Still, Ouma snickers with a grin, clearly happy about it. He lifts his face again, still not giving Shuichi any personal space, here. ]
Hmm... Let's just do both!
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shoving away ]
Doing both at the same time is just going to cause more confusion.
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Ouma grunts in discontent at Shuichi pushing his face away, and both of his hands start flailing a bit in protest as he tries to grab at Shuichi's arm to counter this. ]
Mmfgh... No-- You're just... sucking at reading the mood!!
[ NOT THAT THERE IS A MOOD LEFT TO READ AT THIS POINT... ]
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There's no mood!
[Well, now there isn't.]
If you're not going to take this seriously then there's no point. We're better off just improvising.
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-- Okay, fine! We'll improvise!
[ The annoyed words are retorted right before Ouma abruptly decides to turn his head just enough so that he can gratuitously lick the hand that's been pushing him away.
Take that! ]