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FIFTEEN TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE ICONS............

duplicity memories au shit

[ It wasn't supposed to be like this.

More memory shenanigans? More fucking around? He's not quite sure what to make of it yet, but it's similar to his previous experiences. Ending up somewhere he's not supposed to be, unable to remember how he came about the location, and definitely not able to piece together the memories that brought him here. It's enough to make him want to implode, honestly. The killing game... Duplicity... and now... this? A happy-go-lucky "Love Across the Universe" situation? It's too similar to the initial killing game, and yet entirely different. Naturally Ouma doesn't trust it, especially since he's somehow managed to retain his memories of all his prior experiences. Can't whoever's doing this crap keep any consistency? He's reminded of when he woke up in the Down in Duplicity, and of how the others that he'd met therein had always been a tossup in discovering what they actually recalled or experienced.

It's terrifying, really. He's not sure he can even trust his own memories, even if he wants to believe they're reliable. But everything is messed up.

Again. And again.

At least in this scenario, he isn't being forced to partake in any activities like killing or sex. Dating and bonds or whatever is a lot more tolerable, and it's almost too nice compared to his prior experiences. It sets him on edge. All of his classmates are here this time, but none of them seem to recall anything prior. They don't know about the killing game, and the few of them that had shown up in Duplicity didn't seem to recall anything about that, either.

On the surface, anyway. He hasn't interacted much with Shuichi quite yet, even though he'd been the closest with him during his time in Duplicity. He almost doesn't want to approach him, because they'd finally, finally contracted, and then--

... But is it all in his own head? Was any of that even real?

The paranoia regarding his own memories and feelings keeps Ouma from actually approaching Shuichi. Hell, he might even be avoiding him in this ridiculously neutral environment. But it doesn't matter, because Shuichi probably won't notice, right? He surely doesn't remember anything either, just like the rest of them. Otherwise he would've said something by now, right?

It's getting cumbersome to keep up with what's what and who he can even trust at this point. Although the obvious answer is that he can't trust anyone -- that's how it's always been, hasn't it? Everything that had happened surely was just wishful thinking (or dreaming?) on his part.

He's so tired of these games.

So he sits outside the back entrance near the cafeteria, lost in his own head on the bench while everyone else is off having a carefree time, exchanging date tickets and whatnot, unaware of the plethora of realities that are currently cracking Ouma's head relentlessly. ]

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[ MR. SAIHARA.....................

Ouma brings a finger to his lips with a hum, although his tone is too cheery to warrant the idea that he's considering anything too seriously here. ]

Whaaat? Have I?! I don't remember anything like that!!

[ But then there's a flash of a grin as he moves to inelegantly plop down on the bed to sit next to Shuichi, kicking his legs up slightly as he does so from the momentum of sitting down so gracelessly. ]

... Just kidding! And I definitely think that girl's a super-duper bitch, but there's no way she's fully in-charge! Maybe we're some kind of entertainment commodity and they're trying to keep everything from getting dreadfully boring. That's two whole resets on our situation by now, isn't it? But it's always the same thing: Death or sex, death and sex, death and death, sex and sex! It's like a shitty reality TV show that keeps getting cancelled before the season is completed!!

[ There's an edge of frustration in his voice before he lets himself fall backwards on the bed, his back hitting the mattress even as the rest of his legs still hang off. He spreads his arms out slightly, not really caring that he's probably taking up way more space than Shuichi right now. ]

[ ok maybe he doesn't get to complain about flippancy over their sexual history when he was just making a joke about it but still. ouma plz. ]

I mean, at least this time around it's not...that. None of that's required now, right? It's more like some kind of cheesy dating show.

[Which admittedly doesn't preclude the sex thing, but it's not necessary. Shuichi frowns, lips pressed together in thought.]

But that's just another kind of entertainment, too. It seems impossible to believe, but...

[But...what else can he think, at this point? The very nature of his reality is up in the air right now. Some kind of simulation or something is the only thing that makes sense in a rational world. If they eliminate that option, then what's even left? Magic? Some kind of gods fucking with them specifically just for the hell of it? At least the simulation angle doesn't rely on the supernatural.

He wishes Ouma would take this seriously. If not for the sake of figruing out what to do, then at least to make him feel less alone in his barely restrained breakdown. Everything they think they know is potentially fake, why is he the only one that seems at all concerned??? Ouma spread out, but Shuichi only curls in on himself further as he thinks on it all.]

Edited 2019-12-09 10:15 (UTC)

I mean, Monokuma wasn't even trying to hide it this time... It kinda makes me think he's outside of the crazy cosplayer's control. She's even around whenever he is!

[ Ouma whines, turning to his side to stare at Shuichi. ]

But this isn't even hardly a game anymore...!! It's just getting more and more boring! He said we can leave if we "graduate" like before, but I don't believe it for a second! All of this suddenly ending peacefully without a dead body? It's so lame I could cry...!

[ One of his hands reaches up to tug on Shuichi's sleeve, ensuring he has the other's attention. No zoning out allowed... ]

Hey, hey-- You said back in Duplicity that I died in the original killing game, right? 'Cause I really think I prefer that kind of ending at this point! They're just milking us to death, now!

[Shuichi winces. He doesn't turn his head to look at Ouma, but it's clear he's paying attention just from the way he sighs and drops his head into his hands.]

Please don't even joke about that...

[ he's still traumatized dude

There's a part of him – the clingy, nervous, insecure part – that wants to just lay down and glom onto Ouma like a goddamn leech just to keep himself convinced that he isn't actually losing his mind. It's not an irrational conclusion affer watching people die and then apparently come back to life and get trapped in some kind of freak sex land. This is not the life of a sane person.

But he keeps to himself and keeps it together.]

Will it really even end if we "win"? I mean...you're right. It seems too easy. I'm kind of afraid that it'd just all reset again into something worse.

[ Part of him wishes he had the capacity to say something optimistic -- something about how it's gotten marginally better each reset thus far... Although Ouma is pointedly not optimistic and filled to the brim with paranoia, and his mind can't outrule that they've barely penetrated the surface of what this new situation has to offer.

So it'd just be a lie, anyway. One he's usually not opposed to making, regardless of how wildly insensitive it would be, but he's more attuned to this Shuichi's moodswings (hell, he'd had quite a few "talks" with him during the most inopportune moments in Duplicity), so he's not really in the mood to rile up his rabbit-hearted detective any further.

But Shuichi is strong. Ouma had seen him growing and surprising him first-hand in that killing game and in Duplicity... ]

Hm... Dunno!

[ Ouma unceremoniously blurts out, rolling even more into Shuichi's personal space as he turns over on his stomach, kicking his legs and stretching his arms out flat across the bed. ]

Guess we gotta find out then, right? 'Cause I'm not about to roll over on my back and wait to die! So you can't either. I need a good guy that'll jump in and take a bullet for me if anything goes wrong, y'know.

[Ouma's flopping around dislodges a scrap of paper that'd be precariously balanced on the edge of the bed, and Shuichi watches it fall from between his fingers. It gently drifts down to join the rest of the familiar/unfamiliar mess scattered across the floor. A significant amount of the mess being different can be attributed to the lack of murder – there's no collected evidence, no mass of drawings to hide diagrams for tools to work around the killing game's rules. It's a mystery what kind of shit is hidden in the mess, but sorting through it all is a task for later. He's literally only just gotten himself allowed in properly. He can take it slow.

This is not going to be the only real talk they ever have.

That's a comforting thought, at least. Shuichi isn't inclined towards optimism in all this absurdity and awfulness, but it doesn't seem likely that anyone's going to be abruptly murdered in this game. A slow breath eases out of him and he lets his hands fall away from his face. Tentatively, he pats Ouma's leg where it's pressing up against his thigh.]

I'm not going to die. [By murder or depression or bullet sacrifice, thank you very much.] The rules for graduation this time around, though...

[ That's what he likes to hear, sir!!

And what he likes to feel, as he notices Shuichi patting his leg. He grins, perking up at the next question (but is he perking up from the attention or the question? Who knows). ]

Nee-heehee! Easy-peasy!! We just gotta do that fake-dating shit!

[ BOLD WORDS but the idea of fake-dating a guy he's been fucking for the better half of a year isn't weird at all to him.

Maybe it's the fake part that should be weird, but Ouma is built on lies. ]

Then we'll know for sure if this thing's legit or not. We need to do some investigating, too. Did you notice all of our labs are already open this time around? Weird, right??

[ agshfkfjsgshal

Shuichi short-circuits for a moment for no good reason at all. It's the only course of action that makes sense after all, right? It's not like he'd be okay with graduation with someone else and leaving Ouma behind, and they already have a rapport and they can coordinate more easily–

That's all good and logical and all that, but fake-dating. Why is that making him feel like he might explode after he's already fucked this dude many, many times??? Idk, probably the "dating" part, which implies feelings rather than just sex, and also the "fake" part, which is implies said feelings not being maybe definitely painfully real.

aaaaaaaaaaa

Ignore him if he take a few extra seconds to process. Nothing weird here, he always goes stone stiff while casually thinking things over.]

...Y-yeah. I mean. That makes sense. [Smooth.] And if no one's supposed to die here then the labs being locked until after trials wouldn't work... But at least we can take a better look at the ones that were supposed to stay locked before.

[ aaaaaaaaaa ]

This is why I'm the genius leader!!

[ Ouma announces smugly as he steadies his palms against the mattress, pushing himself up onto all fours before turning himself around to sit back correctly on his ass. Or about as correctly as he can get, since he's still kinda leaning against Shuichi with terrible, lazy posture. ]

I've already looked at 'em all, but I need a detective's eye for sure! We could use our date tickets to do some investigations without garnering too much attention from Monokuma -- two birds, one laser!!

[ That is not the right analogy but lasers are cooler, okay. ]

[You're putting a lot of faith in him, leaning against him like that. He barely feels sturdy enough to keep just himself upright right now.

God, How long did he spend in Duplicity wishing they could just do an ordinary, unforced, non-sex-focused dare? It was definitely a thought that occurred more than a few times after they'd settled into their arrangement. Is it possible their thoughts in one iteration of this nonsense somehow influenced the next?

Ehh. Unlikely, probably. That didn't really account for Duplicity itself, unless Ouma died feeling massively horny.]

What kind of date could you even have in Amami-kun's lab? And what if Monokuma's paying more attention to dates? If that's the whole point if the game this time, then that's probably what he cares about most...

[Fuck, is Monokuma watching now? Would he have been able to resist a pair of teens sneaking off to a bedroom together?? Shuichi frowns, pressing a knuckle to his lips in uneasy thought.]

Edited 2019-12-26 09:38 (UTC)

[ Ouma turns his head and blinks at Shuichi as the other becomes clearly absorbed in his own misgivings about everything; something that Ouma is all too familiar with doing as well, although like hell is he about to openly show it. ]

Well, yeah, it is a dating show... But leave it to me! I'm the best liar in this place, so I can make any situation look totally innocent!

[ Or like. The opposite, maybe... But he's good at confusing and hiding intentions, and that's all they need. He can guess where Shuichi's line of thought is going, and it's when the same contemplation crosses his own mind that he ends up smirking.

His hands reach up around Shuichi's neck so that his arms can wrap around the other (and also use him for steadying balance) as he very abruptly turns over to straddle the other's lap and subsequently make himself comfortable in it. ]

-- Like this one!

[Ouma's always good at pulling Shuichi out of his head, at least. Shuichi can only blink for a moment as Ouma slides himself into place, stress momentarily nudged aside by Ouma's slight weight in his lap. Shuichi sighs almost automatically..]

This doesn't really look "innocent".

[Oddly enough, though? This is kind of soothing on his overworked heart and brain. This is shit they've done before and he can fall back on that familiarity. Without even thinking, his hands fall to Ouma's waist, half support and half idle touch.

Okay. See? He can do this. He is totally capable of navigating this arrangement with a cool head and without looking like some kind of desperate leech.]

So, then...should we...practice...?

[Failed step one.]

[ God. Ouma's face only brightens at Shuichi's suggestion, even if Ouma thinks it's worded wonderfully for him to attack the other with. ]

Yep, yep! I'm already perfect at this, but I don't mind giving my beloved Saihara-chan a lesson or two!

[ Ouma nods a few times as he speaks, his own hands moving up toward the sides of Shuichi's head while his fingers weave through the other's hair slightly.

... And then he clears his throat, upping the ante (and the volume) on his already dramatic way of speaking, here. ]

Ahhh, I'm so glad my cute detective boyfriend came to visit me in my very own room today...! What kind of hijinks will we get into on today's date?! My heart is already beating too fast from excitement!!

[ VERY BELIEVABLE. ]

[Shuichi's extremely flat, disbelieving face says it all, honestly. He can't even be flustered by such extremely bad roleplaying.]

That was terrible.

[His hand at Ouma's waist gives a little squeeze with his fingers as if to prod Ouma into taking this seriously. Fuck you, he knows you can do better than this.]

[ For a second, Ouma whines, grabbing both of Shuichi's shoulders and hanging off of him a little. ]

You're so meaaaan!!

[ But then he's scoffing, straightening up again. ]

Sheesh, I didn't know you were such a critic... But that's what I like about you! You're always surprising me!

[ Now he leans in a bit closer, letting his chin rest on one of Shuichi's shoulders with a content sigh before he ultimately begins muttering in a more serious tone. ]

If we can get out of this one, I don't want you ever leaving my side again. 'Cause I think I'm proooobably in love with you, Saihara-chan...

[Ouma hanging off him and getting all cuddly is nothing new. The rest, though?

Shuichi freezes, Ouma's voice low and close to his ear and without the usual dramatics and silliness. It's painfully real-sounding, and Shuichi's hands clench a little at Ouma's waist despite himself. Jesus christ.

He swallows down the lump in his throat, grateful Ouma isn't looking him in the face right now. God only knows how red he must be.]

...That one was better.

[ HAHAHA YEAH GOOD ACTING OUMA ]

[ Ouma's too sharp to miss the way Shuichi's hands tighten around his waist, or the way the other takes a second to retort this time in comparison to dismissing his prior dramatics. It makes Ouma smile in a bitterly satisfied way, because he'd definitely gotten the reaction he wanted, but...

-- He lifts his chin off of Shuichi, sitting up slightly again so he can perceive the other. Although he's going to wink and stick out his tongue slightly, returning to the childish antics he loves to put on so much. ]

See? I told you I'm good at this.

[ Internally, he is screaming over this and the fact that Shuichi's already explaining everything away -- but he's always been like this when it comes to this kind of stuff. If Ouma were making a statement about murder, he'd be all over triple-checking tha tone...

Either way, if Shuichi isn't going to acknowledge or question his "lie", it's best that he moves the focus from that as soon as possible. Because Ouma doesn't want to talk about that, either. But he did like that reaction...the non-verbal one, anyway. ]

Your turn!

[ bro you can't just hit him with that shit and then immediately expect him to have his shit together!!!

Ouma pulls back to look at him and Shuichi immediately averts his eyes, retracting one of his hands to cover the lower half of his face.]

I, uh... I don't think anyone really expects me to be that...overt, anyway.

[Everyone knows he is A Shy Boy. It'd be weirder if he was all about the PDA suddenly, right? Right??]

Weeeell, that's true! Man, they're probably gonna wonder why you're hanging out with a Supreme Leader too, huh? That's like, the most unexpected for a guy like you...!

[ Ouma notices how Shuichi isn't looking at him right now, and how he's withdrawing in general. Is it still a reaction to that or just the expectation of Shuichi being able to play sappy?

Regardless, Ouma's going to bring his own face closer to Shuichi's, one of his hands moving to hold at the wrist of the hand Shuichi is using to cover his face with, like he might try pulling it away at any second. ]

But hey, how are you planning on practicing, then?

I mean, I can just be subtler about it...

[Not everyone needs to shove their fake relationships in other people's faces all the time! Hell, it's only because they're in private that he's able to keep his shit together to this extent with Ouma sitting on his lap, and it took several months of experience to get comfortable with this.

Ouma's thin fingers tug gently at his wrist and Shuichi takes an extra second to steady himself before he lets Ouma pull it away. Ok, he can do this. He draws a breath and gently breaks Ouma's grip on him to instead catch Ouma's hand in his. He doesn't manage eye contact, but his gaze is at least aimed somewhere around Ouma's shoulder so it's an improvement.]

Do you want to take a walk around the school? We could...you know, explore?

[He is TRYING.]

[ Oh my god Shuichi... ]

Huuuuh?? Are you saying I'm not subtle...?! I'm so offended!

[ Sure, whatever. Ouma's still smiling though for someone that's offended. His own hand tightens slightly around Shuichi's hand that's holding his while his hand on the other's shoulder pushes against Shuichi slightly, leaning into the other like he's testing his balance here. ]

We can do that tomorrow. Don't you think we need a good excuse for you being in my room for so long first?

[ He's partially teasing. He does enjoy flustering Shuichi and the other seems to be trying to hold it together as is. It's always fun to test that limit... ]

Besides, I want a kiss! I totally deserve one for you pretending not to know me until now!

[ Nevermind that Ouma did exactly the same??? ]

I didn't mean actually, just... I was trying to practice!

[Can he even practice asking you out on a fake date without getting lip about it??? Come on!!!

At least that gets him looking Ouma in the face, if only so he can give him that bewildered/frustrated/flustered look. Don't fuck with him right now, please. He seems conflicted for a moment, torn between arguing and pointing out the unfairness and just giving in. The mess of it at least keeps him from getting too wrapped up in his own head.

Eventually, after a few seconds of sputtering, he brings his other hand up to grab the back of Ouma's head and shove his head down not very gently. He takes the opportunity to press a quick kiss to the top of Ouma's head and huffs an exasperated breath.]

Happy? Do you want to practice or do you want to get our stories straight?

Whaaat?! You were lying to me, Saihara-chan? That is so--

[ He's about to go on a fake offended spiel here before he suddenly feels Shuichi's hand on the back of his head, which causes him to shutup even if it only ends up being a peck on his head.

Still, Ouma snickers with a grin, clearly happy about it. He lifts his face again, still not giving Shuichi any personal space, here. ]

Hmm... Let's just do both!

[ hand on ouma's face

shoving away ]

Doing both at the same time is just going to cause more confusion.

[ fjdkjfsk

Ouma grunts in discontent at Shuichi pushing his face away, and both of his hands start flailing a bit in protest as he tries to grab at Shuichi's arm to counter this. ]

Mmfgh... No-- You're just... sucking at reading the mood!!

[ NOT THAT THERE IS A MOOD LEFT TO READ AT THIS POINT... ]

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