box15 | FIFTEEN TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE ICONS............

FIFTEEN TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE ICONS............

duplicity memories au shit

[ It wasn't supposed to be like this.

More memory shenanigans? More fucking around? He's not quite sure what to make of it yet, but it's similar to his previous experiences. Ending up somewhere he's not supposed to be, unable to remember how he came about the location, and definitely not able to piece together the memories that brought him here. It's enough to make him want to implode, honestly. The killing game... Duplicity... and now... this? A happy-go-lucky "Love Across the Universe" situation? It's too similar to the initial killing game, and yet entirely different. Naturally Ouma doesn't trust it, especially since he's somehow managed to retain his memories of all his prior experiences. Can't whoever's doing this crap keep any consistency? He's reminded of when he woke up in the Down in Duplicity, and of how the others that he'd met therein had always been a tossup in discovering what they actually recalled or experienced.

It's terrifying, really. He's not sure he can even trust his own memories, even if he wants to believe they're reliable. But everything is messed up.

Again. And again.

At least in this scenario, he isn't being forced to partake in any activities like killing or sex. Dating and bonds or whatever is a lot more tolerable, and it's almost too nice compared to his prior experiences. It sets him on edge. All of his classmates are here this time, but none of them seem to recall anything prior. They don't know about the killing game, and the few of them that had shown up in Duplicity didn't seem to recall anything about that, either.

On the surface, anyway. He hasn't interacted much with Shuichi quite yet, even though he'd been the closest with him during his time in Duplicity. He almost doesn't want to approach him, because they'd finally, finally contracted, and then--

... But is it all in his own head? Was any of that even real?

The paranoia regarding his own memories and feelings keeps Ouma from actually approaching Shuichi. Hell, he might even be avoiding him in this ridiculously neutral environment. But it doesn't matter, because Shuichi probably won't notice, right? He surely doesn't remember anything either, just like the rest of them. Otherwise he would've said something by now, right?

It's getting cumbersome to keep up with what's what and who he can even trust at this point. Although the obvious answer is that he can't trust anyone -- that's how it's always been, hasn't it? Everything that had happened surely was just wishful thinking (or dreaming?) on his part.

He's so tired of these games.

So he sits outside the back entrance near the cafeteria, lost in his own head on the bench while everyone else is off having a carefree time, exchanging date tickets and whatnot, unaware of the plethora of realities that are currently cracking Ouma's head relentlessly. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Now Ouma's brow furrows. Why is he acting so weird... It'd be understandable if Ouma had already been messing with him, but he hadn't done anything to Shuichi in this scenario aside from some light teasing. Is Shuichi really just that much of a downer? Is he actually depressed about the Kaede thing but not saying anything?

Ouma had been vying to lighten everything up a bit -- maybe selfishly wanting to spend more time with even a memory-less Shuichi (at least, that way, he could pretend for a little while that there hadn't been pressing matters between them). But here he is, putting a knot in Ouma's stomach because he's acting like his Shuichi. ]

... Maaan, you're no fun at all. You'd think we were in a killing game instead of a lovey-dovey game with how much of a buzzkill you are!

[ Ouma sighs, attempting to take back his hands now. ]

[Killing game. A sharp little intake of breath, and for a moment Shuichi's hand squeezes tight around Ouma's wrists as he stiffens. The moment passes quickly, though, and Shuichi hurriedly releases Ouma.

Fuck. He has to chill out. The Monokubs had mentioned a killing game before Monokuma opted for the dating game instead, it wasn't that weird a thing for someone to just randomly mention in this situation. He has to get his shit together.]

Sorry I'm so boring.

[At least if he's boring, no one will waste their time on him. They'll have their fun with each other and he won't spoil it all by being crazy or depressed or cursed to endure horrible shit.]

[ The sensation of Shuichi's grip squeezing tighter on his wrists at the mention of a killing game is impossible to miss, and it sets Ouma's brain on full throttle. Why did he react like that? Why is he acting so weird? It's not just because of Kaede, is it? Still, it feels stupid to hope or open any emotional vulnerability here, so he's not sure how to deal with this.

But it's bugging him. And he can't leave it be.

As soon as Shuichi releases his hands, Ouma grabs one of Shuichi's arms, attempting to stop the other in his tracks. ]

Liar.

[ His voice drops, dismissing the playfulness he'd been able to keep up for so long. ]

You're not boring. You're actually super suspicious right now, even though there's no reason to be? What's up with that, huh? Do you remember something weird? Or maybe you're the Mastermind behind this stupid thing??

[ He knows that isn't likely true whatsoever, but he brings it up, anyway. ]

It's the perfect cover, isn't it?! The loser, virgin Saihara-chan being behind all this biiiig date show crap!!

[ VERY unlikely, but he's fishing. Shuichi is being weird for some reason, and Ouma very, very much wants to know why. ]

[Shuichi's nearly about to push onwards, escape while he can, but then Ouma brings him to a halt with a grip on his arm and a serious tone. It'd be surprising if Shuichi wasn't used to Ouma's abrupt mood changes already.

So there's no surprise on his face, just mild confusion. At least, until Ouma's string of questions hits a note that resonates with him and he can't even focus on the rest.]

"Remember something weird" like what?

[He doesn't want to give himself false hope. He doesn't want to jump to conclusions. He's probably just interpreting things the way he wants to rather than any way that'd actually be logicial if he wasn't such a mess. Is that a normal thing to ask someone? Maybe Ouma's thinking more along the lines of whatever happened before they were all kidnapped or whatever.

Still, he can't help the question slipping past his lips. He doesn't even pay attention to the mastermind shit. It's nonsense anyway, he can't imagine Ouma actually believes it at all even while being the most paranoid person here. He'd thought Shuichi was trustworthy, hadn't he?

Though that was only after they'd had some time to get to know each other. Maybe he should focus more on that than his masochistic hopefulness. Hm.]

[ The good part about being a constant liar was the ability to tell the truth or press the truth without any commitment or consequences -- everyone assumes you're lying, so you can say ridiculous, off-the-wall things (or incredibly sincere things) without anyone knowing the wiser. Ouma's tone turns less serious once again.

Even as he lets something serious haphazardly spill out of his mouth -- Shuichi would dismiss it if he truly didn't remember, anyway. ]

Liiiike... when I had a super freaky mark on my neck and you had to take care of me until it stopped being a weird color!!

[ A test. Not that Ouma expects much from it, but he needs to exhaust every opportunity to ensure -- if nothing else, he's at least thorough in investigating all possibilities. God... This is more painful than he thought it would be. He's ready to toss out a "just kidding" or whatever, but he at least wants to read Shuichi's reaction first. That will determine everything. ]

[If Shuichi had really been oblivious, that would have sounded like regular Ouma nonsense to be simply ignored.

But Shuichi is not oblivious. And while he's been trying to keep himself from jumping to conclusions, that "nonsense" is just too specific. His guarded expression finally cracks, mouth hanging open for a long few moments as he processes that, runs through it a few times in his head quickly to make sure he isn't hearing it wrong or missing some obvious innocent explanation. It's only after that awkward pause that he finally pulls himself together a bit, though he's not really on Ouma's level when it comes to lying and keeping a straight face even at his best moments.

(This is not one of his best moments.)]

Like...Duplicity?

[He definitely isn't doing a good job at not looking completely stunned, but an attempt is being made here. He can't tear his eyes from Ouma's face, but this way is a decent test of his own, right? If Ouma doesn't seem to understand, he can just pretend he meant to say something else or....god idk.[

Duplicity...?!

[ Ah... His heart pounds a bit faster as he realizes that yes, yes, this is no coincidence or dream -- it had all definitely happened, and Shuichi had definitely been there for the majority of that mess.

This...is his Shuichi, and that makes him so excited that he can hardly breathe. Ouma leans in closer to Shuichi's proximity, moving one of his index fingers to press against the other's neck... Specifically, where he might have a mark, considering Ouma imitates the trail of it by letting his finger brush up against the skin, following the entirety of every curve of Shuichi's until he reaches the other's lower lip. That's where Ouma lets his index finger rest, as though he might be shushing the other.

Although his intentions are far from that. ]

What's that? Like, a place where you might've had to chase me down and stuff?? Since I was so ahead of you in that game...

[ Nevermind the fact that he literally got switched to a Submissive rank... It doesn't matter, especially if Shuichi doesn't remember -- but he seems to.

Which makes Ouma's pulse thump in excitement. Does he remember everything else that happened or not? Is this all wishful thinking in the end?

Ouma's hand, almost instinctively, moves to grap at the collar of Shuichi's shirt. ]

Hey, do you really know who I am? I won't forgive you if you use a lame lie, y'know!

[He's prepared for the worst. He's prepared to be disappointed. Even given the shit Ouma had been saying, how it'd seemed like such an obvious hint, Shuichi's still prepared to be wrong. He always is.

What he's not prepared for is the intense spark in Ouma's eyes as the other boy suddenly leans in, fingers on his neck, on his lip. Shuichi's eyes widen and his breathing stops, like that finger is somehow smothering him all on its own.

It's takes him a second to remember how to breathe again.]

You're...

[It's all familiar. Ouma's allusions, the suddenly intimate attitude. That's confirmation, isn't it? Right? There's no way he's just misinterpreting things? God, he wishes Ouma would just be fucking straightforward for once instead of dancing around the issue.

(Then again, what would he do if their positions were reversed? second guess everything, probably. Try to test the waters in a way that wouldn't make him sound entirely crazy if it was some kind if misunderstanding. Like hell would he jump straight to so you remember another world in which we fucked a lot?

Yeah, okay. He can forgive the roundabout shit in this situation.)

Shuichi's tense, staring down at Ouma with an anticipatory look. With a tight jaw, one of his hands comes up to grab Ouma's wrist.]

...You're not the mastermind, even if you try to pretend otherwise. You're not the leader of an organization with ten thousand members.

[It's not a question or an accusation or doubt. It's fact.]

Just ten.

[ Essentially, this confirms for Ouma everything that he needs to know -- he defintely doesn't need to know about how Shuichi is so onto him that he even knows how many members he has. It's frustrating in a sense, but it's also a relief -- so Shuichi already knows that much, huh? So Ouma doesn't even have to pretend as much as he normally does, right? It's as nice to know that someone is onto him as it is annoying, since it isn't something he can brush off as easily.

Ouma's grip (from the hand attached to the wrist caught in Shuichi's own grip) loosens, and he grins. ]

Ten? Really? Really, really...? Where'd you get a number like that, Saihara-chan?!

[ His shoulders shrug. ]

Besides... It doesn't matter if I'm the mastermind or not by this point, does it? 'Cause I've got sooo many people prostrating themselves to me for this dumb quota... So I've already beaten a game as stupid as this, y'know!

[ Sure... ]

[Shuichi huffs an exasperated breath through his nose.]

There's no quota here.

[Here being the operative word there.

Ouma's all smiles, but Shuichi can't manage the same even with relief slowly trickling through his veins. This is real, it has to be real, all the evidence supports it, but the resulting emotion isn't quite happiness. He isn't even really sure how to categorize it. The loosening of tension, a tightness in his chest easing up tentatively, a warmth in his cheeks as he tries not to think aboutthe sort of things they apparently both remember.

Ouma's grip eases up, but Shuichi's only tightens. Like hell could he let Ouma go right now.]

...You really remember?

[His eyebrows knit together, uncertain still. Maybe Ouma can bear to dance around the subject forever, but he can't.]

Laaaame!! If there's no quota, then why are we even here?! What's the whole point of this lovey-dovey nonsense? Are they trying to get us to bring our guard down?

[ Ouma babbles, casually trying to pull his arm away only to notice that Shuichi's got a pretty good grip on it. Hm.

He brings his spare hand up to grab at Shuichi's hand that's on his own. That'll show him. ]

Not happening! Nope!! 'Cause I remember everything from killing games to BDSM boot camps! I'm not falling for this auspicious atmosphere!

[Oh yeah. That'll show him.

The hand on his certainly shows him something. As does that babble, nonsense to anyone else but like a punch in the heart to Shuichi right then. The breath that eases out of him is just a little bit ragged, like a gasp slowed down and reversed. His free hand rose to press a palm over the lower half of his face. He just needed a moment.

Holy shit.

He could respond with similar nonsense, or with something straightforward enough to cut through the bullshit. There were all kinds of words he could choose from, different directions he could take with them, but none of them felt like enough.

After a long stretch of seconds, he instead drops the hand over his face, tugs Ouma by the wrist in closer, and just wraps an arm around the smaller boy's shoulders.]

[ ... He expected some kind of reaction to that, his casual reveal that he's oh so familiar with all of the bullshit they've been through thus far. And yet, he still didn't expect this reaction.

Ouma practically short-circuits for a moment, blinking as Shuichi's arm wraps around him as he's pulled into the other's embrace.

It isn't unwelcome, or unpleasant in the least...but what is it?

Ouma settles his own free hand at Saihara's waist, grinning contently. ]

Nee-heehee... Did you really think someone as large and in-charge as me would lose their memories so easily? As if!

I wouldn't really say "large".

[As if to illustrate his point, the arm wrapped around Ouma lifts just enough to gently bop a fist atop Ouma's head, noticeably lower than Shuichi's.

That's all the levity he can muster immediately, though. It's like the tension just drains abruptly out of him, the stress of the last few days just rushing out. He slumps against Ouma, pressing his face against dark hair.]

I thought I was going crazy.

Ehh--??

[ Ouma hums, even as he kind of leans into Shuichi's chest, letting the other embrace him a bit too easily... ]

Aren't you already super crazy, Saihara-chan?! Only someone as crazy as you would bother with someone as evil as me, y'know!

[Shuichi huffs a not-laugh against Ouma's skull.]

You've never really given me a choice.

[He's not letting go, though.

Even now, the feeling of Ouma's slight weight leaning against him is simultaneously, absurdly, both electrifying and comforting. That touch had been his salvation in the city. His own hesitance would have killed him, so many others would have (and had) hurt him given the opportunity. But Ouma had done what was needed, pushed but never harmed, taken care of him in his own unorthodox way.

Once upon a time, Ouma had scared him. It seemed strange in hindsight when he had truth on his side.

Anyway. Speaking of truth and all that shit, there'd been a valid point in Ouma's bullshitting. Shuichi finally pulled back a bit reluctantly, his hand only retracting as far as Ouma's shoulder as if fearing an escape attempt. His other hand eased up on the thin wrist just enough to grab at a pale hand instead.]

If it's all real, then what's all this? [A vague gesture with his head at their surroundings, his mouth turning downward pensively, uncomfortably.]

[ Ouma hums thoughtfully, eyes darting at their surroundings even if there's nothing new to see -- in fact, it's all too familiar to the killing game environment, to the point where it's uneasy. ]

It's probably 'cause we're just stuck in a neverending simulation together!

[ Ouma grabs at Shuichi's hand on his in a reciprocative way. ]

So like, you and me are the only ones who ever remember everything, right? Maybe we're glitching! We gotta find a red pill stat and get outta here before the body count starts picking up...

[Ouma is way too cheery right now. Especially given that that seems like a legitimate possibility, all things considered. In contrast, Shuichi just looks more concerned, his voice lowering like he it would actually prevent anyone from overhear if this was in fact some kind of simulation.]

How serious are you being right now? Please.

[Just because he hasn't found solid evidence of anything doesn't mean Ouma hasn't. Hell, Ouma's always been better at finding this shit before him anyway. Why is he the Ultimate Detective here again?]

Dunno yet!

[ Okay, that's partially true. It's a possibility, especially when the flashback lights are brought into consideration... But it doesn't make sense for everyone else to get wiped but them. Who's not going to wipe the fucking Ultimate Detective unless it's on purpose? It's suspicious.

But him and Saihara really are the only odd ones out. Sure, he'd seen a few of the others in Duplicity, and while they could all spin a good lie in a pinch or hide their true natures (especially...Korekiyo...), Ouma thinks he would've caught on to them hiding something by now. Someone like Kaede in particular wouldn't be able to hide her distress. Hell, even Shuichi did a fairly bad job of hiding his mood from Ouma's suspicions.

It's honestly because they've gotten so close throughout all these repetitive messes that they'd kept their distance in the first place. ]

Wanna try killing ourselves and see if that works? [ A beat. ] You're going first, though.

[ OK, the answer is that he's not being 100% serious even though...the topic at hand is pretty serious.

But that's nothing new. As fucked up and annoying as this is (yet again...), nothing bad has happened (yet), and it's a relief to know he isn't alone here for once.

... Which is a concept that makes him want to bluescreen a bit, but he won't focus on the intricacies of Shuichi being his partner in a sense or how that makes him feel, although the feeling is undoubtedly nice as much as it is a knot in his stomach.

He can't help being paranoid. ]

[Right. He'd almost forgotten Ouma is Like This. Relief is still the prevalent emotion, but exasperation is quickly catching up to it.]

I'd rather not.

[Biting back a sigh, Shuichi's eyes drop to their joined hands. It's comforting in an extremely embarassing sort of way. It'd probably only make the exasperation worse, honestly, except Shuichi himself is the real offender there so he can't even really be annoyed at Ouma for the PDA.]

...Will you talk to me seriously if we go somewhere more private?

[There's a hint of color in his cheeks as he says it – he doesn't mean anything suggestive, but their history now is such that it kinda feels that way anyway. Which is...a whole thing he doesn't want to think about right now. He doesn't exactly know where they stand on all that, now that they're here instead of Duplicity and there's no dystopian government forcing them to fuck. Ouma had seemed pretty sincere in having fun with it, but surely there's a big difference between "making the best of things" and "actually wanting to do it even without external pressure".]

[ Ouma blinks, tilting his head for only a second before a grin spreads across his face. Please, do not expect him to take such a statement seriously... ]

Like, more seriously about murder??

[ In an impromptu moment, he's leaning in closer to Shuichi's face, using his other hand to cup around his mouth as he whispers at Shuichi, his eyes gleaming with mischief. ]

Or a buncha other stuff I bet you're still thinking about...?

[ The hand in Shuichi's twists slightly, just so that his fingers can slide and interlock between Shuichi's own. He might be trying to fuck around with the other.

But he might also be gay as hell.

Nonetheless, it isn't a bad idea to discuss all this sensitive information somewhere else. Where someone's not prone to walk by and wonder why these two individuals who are only supposed to have known each other for a few days are all up in each other's business right now. ]

[Shuichi knows what kind of direction this is going the moment Ouma gives him that innocent, cheery look. Motherfucker. Even still, Shuichi's face goes even pinker. He frowns, trying to cling more to the irritation to tamp down the embarassment.]

Cut it out already.

[A much milder scolding than Ouma deserves, really. Fuck you, dude, he's sensitive.

Ouma holding his hand like that really doesn't help keep him on task. Shuichi averts his eyes like he's scanning the area for anyone walking by, because that's easier than looking at the asshole he's kinda holding hands with. After a moment, he pulls himself together and huffs an exasperated breath before turning towards the dorms and tugging Ouma along after him by their joined hands.

Ouma didn't give him a real answer, so Ouma doesn't get a fucking opinion. They're going.]

Uwah--!! I'm being taken away by Saihara-chan!!

[ Ouma's voice raises slightly, although there's no one around to hear it. Which is why he did as much, even though he's not entirely sure it's something he wouldn't do if there were people around.

But as much as Shuichi's learned about Ouma, Ouma's equally learned about the other... Slowly, gradually, figuring this puzzle of a person that should be flagrantly obvious from the get-go out. But Shuichi's always surprising him. Best not to piss Shuichi off to the point of the other turning uncooperative, especially since that's what Ouma needs right now. And he can get it. This isn't a situation where Shuichi's already refused him or where he can't trust Shuichi any longer...

Like right now. Although it's not too much of a surprise, since Ouma's used to his slightly more assertive moments by this point. Cute...

Ouma's smiling the whole time he's led away, ultimately not struggling from the other in spite of his dramatic statements. ]

Is this a house arrest?

[ s i g h

Shuichi's shoulders hunch up around his ears, but at least no one's around to hear Ouma. Small blessings. Shuichi does his best to shrug it off. Someone's gotta be the responsible one between the two of them.]

If I have to lock you up to get you to stop messing around, I will.

[Ouma would probably like that anyway.

The trip back to the dorms is uneventful. Shuichi automatically turns towards his own room at first, but then he pauses and seems to rethink it. After a moment's thought, he heads to Ouma's door instead.

If Ouma trusts him, then he should let him in. Shuichi's already made it clear he saw inside last time around anyway. And if Ouma's be doing any investigating on his own so far, Shuichi wants to see it..]

[ At least Ouma is trailing behind Shuichi, so Shuichi doesn't get a chance to see the very brief surprise that crosses Ouma's face before he brings his spare hand up to cover his face as he scoffs in presumable amusement. ]

You're soooo funny, Saihara-chan! You already know there's no lock I can't get out of...!

[ JUST SAYING!!

Although he knows Shuichi is honestly just humoring his banter, probably. Which is nice. Shuichi's always entertaining him, at least.

... And pulling through with that unexpected behavior, since Ouma's expression stiffens when Shuichi leads him to his door.

In any other circumstance, Ouma would be shutting this down. His room is off-limits as long as he's alive, and there are notes and bits of information that he's not ready to reveal to anyone whatsoever.

... Or at least, he wasn't. But he's not nearly as far as he was previously in his own investigation, when there was actual killing going on... It's a more chaotic whiteboard, complete with his theories about Duplicity and the flashback lights and this current lovey-dovey game that don't seem to be connected, but for him and Shuichi...

Ouma inhales through his nose slowly, eyebrows knitting as he stares down his own door as though it's a threat. He's seen this door before, and it's the same door, and yet different. Just like this Shuichi is the same Shuichi, but...it's his Shuichi. The one that's been with him this whole time.

The only one who's been with him this whole time.

Swallowing quietly, Ouma pulls his hand from Shuichi's grip as he moves toward his door, reaching for the key to it stashed within his sleeve in order to open it.

For the both of them. ]

Edited 2019-12-08 09:21 (UTC)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject